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  • David Brent

CHIPPY SINK SLOANE

Sloane 2-4 Jeff’s Chippy Bacon's College 27th September 2020


According to the internet the Danakil Depression in Ethiopia is the most miserable and inhospitable location on earth. For many years the Chippy have known this to be false, instead claiming that Bacon’s College in Rotherhithe is the most unforgiving place on the planet, having won just once there since 2016. Unbearable heat and poisonous air is the reason for the Danakil Depression’s notoriety but for a 90-minute spell on Sunday, a quiet corner of South East London certainly gave it a run for its money in a fiery encounter between two good sides.

Chippy got off to a red-hot start as captain Jon Walton slotted into the roof of the net from a Ramon Iland corner. The ball-playing defender was the second top scorer for Ant Stonehewer’s side last season, netting on five occasions, which outlines the reliance of the Chippy on the goals of Charlie Mitchell. However, the work of Chief Scout Iland over the last few years has unearthed countless gems in the likes of Luke Flannigan, Chris Watson, Jonny Plowman and George Robinson. But maybe the most precious find of the lot is Stevie Callan. If the Greenwich based striker was something of an uncut gem last term with just the single goal in nine appearances, four goals to his name already this season means the Chippy have another diamond in their side. Callan’s first goal was a well taken effort just inside the opposition box, showing quick feet before finishing calmly past the stand-in Sloane ‘keeper - the assist once again coming from the Billericay boy, Iland.

Clearly the only way was Essex in terms of assists but a poor 10-minute spell meant the Potato Men threw away the lead quicker than Gemma Collins going up for seconds at Taste of China. The Chippy were clearly rattled and 39-year-old Harry Ingham, responsible for ‘Behaviour and Culture’ at a London based school, was booked for swearing towards the referee. The sides went in level at the break but it was curtains for Ingham who was withdrawn with what Stonehewer later told the press was due to a hamstring injury, but dressing room insiders have revealed the experienced midfielder was, “taken off before he was sent off”.


According to the internet once again, the greatest 45 minutes in sport history came at the 1935 Los Angeles Games when Jesse Owens set five world records and equalled a sixth in just three-quarters-of-an-hour, he would later go on to stand up against fascism at the 1936 Olympic games in Berlin by obliterating the competition in front of a furious Adolf Hitler. The Chippy – who also stand against all forms of fascism – usurped Owens’ efforts in 1935 by putting in a second-half performance almost without fault. Sloane failed to register an effort on goal, thanks in part to an incredible performance from man-of-the-match Chris Watson. The Reading born centre-back put in a display worthy of angering a small Austrian man with a bad moustache.


The prolific Mitchell, who was uncharacteristically blunt in the opening day 4-0 win over Exonians, edged Chippy ahead with half-an-hour to go. The Devon striker turning and firing powerfully into the bottom corner from 30-yards. A definite goal of the season contender and was later described by goalkeeper/winger Lewis Crossland as, “putting the wind in the Chippy sails”! It certainly was plain sailing for the Clapham based side from then on and Callan was on hand to land the blow which finally sank Sloane hopes. He raced on to a long clearance from Declan Harvey before arcing a deft finish over the stranded Sloane skipper. It ended 4-2 to Chippy and everything is looking ship-shape for Stonehewer’s side as they start the season with two wins from two.


Next up for Jeff’s Chippy is a H&M Freight Services Ltd London Sunday Challenge Trophy first round tie against Southern Sunday Football League Championship side Cosmos United.

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